Since Dad passed away late last year, I’ve been waiting for the grief to hit. We all grieve differently. I just didn’t know what to expect.
In the run-up to Christmas, I kept myself busy clearing out Dad’s house. On Christmas Day, I connected with family and friends. I almost felt upbeat. Then on Boxing Day, I fell in a heap. All the pain of losing Dad punched me in the gut.
Relief came from an unexpected quarter. Adam, one of my closest mates, invited me to join him and one of his friends on a four-day bike ride around the Yorke Peninsula. It’s a couple of hours west of Adelaide; from the air, it looks a bit like Italy wearing a steel-capped work boot. We’d be following 380 kilometres of rugged coastline: towering cliffs, rocky inlets, sandy beaches.
Adam didn’t need to twist my arm. I was in!
I thought hard about the gear I’d need. Packed everything into the back of Dad’s Subaru and drove out to Ardrossan. When I opened the tailgate, Adam fell about laughing.
‘Evan,’ he said, ‘we’ll be gone for four days. You can only take as much as you can carry on your bike.’
I felt pretty sheepish. ‘OK,’ I said, ‘What do you recommend?’
‘We’ll shrink it down to 20 litres,’ Adam replied. ‘Let’s see what you’ve brought.’
Meanwhile, Simon sorted out his gear. He’s in his late 30s, an elite sports psychologist. A thought flashed through my mind. How could I keep up with these young blokes? But I pushed it aside.
The first day passed effortlessly. We set off in the early afternoon and rode 50 kilometres. I took in the scenery, just pedalling along and thinking about Dad. He loved the Yorke Peninsula. I kept wanting to ring him, to share the experience. I felt close to him as we rode south.
That evening, Adam ran some numbers by us. We were 30 klicks short of our target. Tomorrow we’d need to make 120 kilometres.
My heart sank.
The most I’ve ever ridden in a day is 70 kilometres. Suddenly, I had to push myself harder than ever before.
The next day we made 120 klicks. On Day Three, we pushed it to 130. Adam and Simon made it seem easy; I had to dig deep to keep up with them.
You learn the most when you’re pushed to the limit. Here’s what I found out about myself during the ride:
- I burned 8000 calories a day. Just maintaining my food intake became a chore – not to mention chugging down one litre of water every hour.
- Late each day I hit the wall, physically and mentally. I had to push through my fear of failure and keep pedalling. Caffeine tablets and electrolytes helped too.
- I didn’t apply enough sunscreen and ended up burned.
Sounds like hell? Far from it! On Day Four, we rode the last 80 kilometres into Port Victoria. I felt elated – like I’d just completed the Tour Down Under.
The euphoria stayed with me on the drive back home, and I gave Simon a lift. Turns out he lost his mother when he was 31, and his father passed away recently. Even though we’d only just met, we both spoke openly about our experiences with grief and loss.
The next day I was still buzzing. I would not have believed I could ride 250 kilometres in two days. There’s a clear analogy for business here. Plunge in. Try things out. If you don’t succeed at your first, or third, or tenth attempt, keep moving.
I learned so much from Adam and Simon during that ride – techniques that only came alive as we powered through the bush or along the sand dunes. That’s the difference between watching a video on YouTube and experiencing it in real life. You learn by immersing yourself, by taking risks. By pushing through your fatigue.
And that sense of exhilaration you experience when it all comes together? Priceless. So, here’s to a year that’s full of challenges, hard work and real learning – in life and in business!